Help add to our college douchebag master list!
-Drama majors,
-70’s band shirt dudes,
-The guy from your freshman year cluster who still says ‘hi’ to you
-The Nice Guy: Pathetic dude who hangs out with and comforts his female friends in the hopes of sleeping with them one day.
-Weeaboos: Stop inviting me to Anime Club. I will never go. You all smell and squeal too much and wear goddamn cat ears and motorcycle goggles. You are in your twenties. It wasn’t even acceptable in high school.
-Young Marines At Clubs: When the new Marines are on their first leave and flood the streets of my town wearing cowboy hats and blacking out before nine, creeping on every girl in sight, yelling racial and homophobic slurs at me, and fighting in the streets, it makes me wonder how well-defended we really are.
-Gym Bro: Wears shirt with cut off sleeves (usually cut most of the way down the sides of the shirt) all day, every day, even to class, because he’s in the gym three times a day.
-Classic Rock Nerd: Discovered that women like dudes in bands, grew long hair, bought a blazer, and now invites you to four shows a week that his shitty classic rock ripoff band is playing at the same two bars nobody goes to.
-The Promoter: Thanks to the ten cents per flyer turned in at the club he gets, he has started wearing t-shirts with open suit vests and ties all the time (not to mention fake designer shades at night), handing out flyers on campus to every girl he sees, and sending you a facebook invite for every night of the goddamn week.
-Woo Girls: Self-explanatory.
-The Proselytizer: No matter what class it is, this bro or broette will find a way to inject Christianity into the discussion. This idiot will argue to the death that atheism is a religion and that there is a such thing as an atheist Bible.
-Longboard Slalom Bro: Rides his longboard all over campus, barefoot of course, carving back and forth across the sidewalk for no reason, endangering everyone in sight.
-Know-It-All: That asshole who has an answer to every question, challenges the teacher, and drags even the shortest classes on forever by trying to engage the teacher in discussion about every. fucking. topic.
-White Kid With Dreads: Weed. Patchouli. Bob Marley. Not showering. Always bumming cigarettes. Wants so badly to be friends with real black people but always fails.
-White Kid Who Thinks He’s Above His Whiteness: The fool brave enough to walk up to black people, even ones he doesn’t know, and say, “What up, my nigga?” Because, you know, he’s so above it all.
-The Longboarder
-Arty Douchebag: Found at houseparties smoking roll ups hiding behind their own fringe talking sweet philosophical nothings into the ears of naive girls. Way to skinny jeans obviousl
-The type of douchebag that makes categories of different kinds of douchebags so they can complain about them on the internet.
-The douchebag that stands outside the library talking on his cellphone.
